Personal Reflection Essay
Personal Reflection Essay
You will write a personal reflection essay from any of the choices listed on
our D2L site (including a do your own thing option and additional options available
on request). You will hand in your paper as a traditional paper copy as well
as through the D2L system. Late papers are assigned 1/2 grade deduction for
each day late.
Objective:
The goal of this assignment is to help you improve your interpersonal communication
skills. Such activity allows you to test the theory taught in our class and
for your own interpersonal communication growth. (I may include additional choices
as the semester progresses, these will be posted on the course webpage and can
easily be linked from the "major assignments" link).
Disclaimer:
Decide upon the essay you will do in a thoughtful way. Some of the activities may be too uncomfortable or painful for you to engage in right now in your life, while the person next to you may find the same activity useful and fun. You will notice that there are "self-authored" activities. Feel free to create your own experiment within the parameters listed. In each activity, if you believe any person -- including yourself -- is being harmed emotionally or physically, or that harm rather than good would come from this activity-- STOP the activity. Due to time constraints, if this happens, just let me know and we can readjust the activity's instructions so you can write your report. Use your good judgment in completing these activities.
Procedure:
Part I: Written Reports
Part II Graded Conferences: Sharing your experience (50 Points)
A word about honesty: Of course I realize that you might just "fabricate" each project and never actually do the required elements. Generally speaking, it takes more effort to fabricate the scene and is not worth the time. However, I hope each of you will not choose such an unethical choice. The joy of these activities is that you can actually improve your own experiences!
Choice #1
Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
First, complete these verbal and nonverbal communication experiments:
1) Break 5 nonverbal rules you normally follow. Do not become immoral or illegal here, but have fun. Why not wear toilet paper on your shoe to see what happens? Dress formally for class perhaps. Place some broccoli in your teeth. As you can imagine, you should get some reactions. What verbal reactions did you get? What nonverbal reactions did you get? Include this in your essay...
2) Call 5 people. While you talk, try not to use any varied facial expressions. Do not use your hands (sit on them!). Watch yourself in the mirror. What verbal reactions did you get? What nonverbal reactions did you get? Include this in your essay.
3) Briefly report what happened! What happens when we "break the rules" of "normal communication?"
Continue to process the importance of "rules" of verbal and nonverbal communication by addressing these questions:
4) What is the difference between verbal and nonverbal communication? How do verbal and nonverbal communication function together to create meaning? How can they compliment (reinforce), contradict and substitute each other? How did you see this to be true or not in your experiments?
5) How does the communication environment impact the meaning attached to the message? Based upon your experiments, explain how communication is rule-governed and context based.
6) When the nonverbal and verbal messages contradict each other, what are you more likely to believe -- the verbal or nonverbal messages? Expand upon this answer and give an example (from the experiment or from past interactions) when:
7) How can "perception checking questions" help you to clarify the verbal and nonverbal messages?
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #2: Practicing Mindfulness
Objective: To increase your ability to be mindful.
Sample Report
Procedure:
1. Define mindfulness. Why is it important? Describe the types of situations where you find yourself most likely to be mindful. What do you normally do to demonstrate your mindfulness? When are you least likely to be mindful? What "bad habits" or other behaviors generally hinder you in being mindful?
2. Think of a specific context for practicing your mindfulness (with my friends, at work, with my daughter, with my boyfriend, etc.). Make a goal for yourself focusing upon improving your mindfulness. Follow this format and include a discussion of why you chose this goal in your essay:
I want to ________________________ (what you want to accomplish) in these
situations____________________________ (list the situations) so that
___________________________________________ (final outcome).
Example: I want to become intentionally more attentive to my children when they tell me about their day so that I can gain more insight into what is important to them and be a better parent.
3. What nonverbal strategy will you need to enact to help you complete your goal? What verbal strategy will you practice? Look to your text to see how Wood describes mindfulness to help you in this analysis.
Example: I will spend 10 minutes per child each day asking them about their day. Concerning my verbal communication, I will ask questions. If I do not like the response, I will not disagree but let him or her finish what they are saying until I speak. I will try not to judge, just listen then even paraphrase what I heard them say AFTER they are done. Concerning my nonverbal communication, during this time I will not do anything else...I will stop, sit with him or her, turn off TV or other distractions, give eye contact and nod my head.
4. Now you are ready to practice being mindful for a week. Pick five contexts where being mindful is particularly important. Describe them and explain why you picked them.
5. Report on five situations where you practiced this skill. For each situation include:
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #3: Your Own Thing
Objective: To improve an interpersonal communication skill of your choice
Procedure:
1. What is a skill you would like to build within the area of interpersonal communication? Some examples include better listening skills, eye contact, etc. List and describe this skill, applying the text.
2. State and explain your goal using this format:
I want to improve my ability to ________________________ (what you want to accomplish) in these situations____________________________ (list the situations) so that ___________________________________________ (final outcome).
3. Describe the problem you are currently facing with this skill. Give a specific example of your current typical behavior in this situation.
4. Formulate a method of changing the behavior. List at least 5 or more very specific ways that you will do this. Include a behavioral change (something that you can actually do), a monitoring device (some way you can keep track of your actions) and a method of gaining outside feedback (from asking a friend, family member, etc. for information about how well you are doing with this skill -- you decide how to do this).
5. How will you know when the goal is achieved? List your criteria.
6. Practice this behavior for at least 1 week. Take notes while you are practicing the behavior in a journal format (just notes to yourself are fine of what you did and how you felt about the results). Include this journal in your paper (need not be typed...also, not part of the 5 page essay).
7. Summarize and analyze of what happened during this time.
In this analysis include:
1. What did you do and how?
2. What was the context?
3. How you did you feel during this experiment?
4. What was the aftermath -- what happened as a result of this experiment?
5. How did you follow and/or not follow Wood's guidelines for improving one's "self" (see chapter 2) and her guidelines for improving this area of interpersonal communication (see the appropriate chapter).
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #4: Helping Others Improve Their Self Image
Objective: All of us struggle with issues of self-image. This exercise asks you to support another person and to communicate supportive messages to help them build their self-esteem.
Procedure:
1. Define self esteem, briefly describing how one can improve their self-esteem. Why do some people have higher or lower levels of self-esteem?
2. How can you help another person improve their self-esteem? Describe how someone can act as an "upper" or "downer." Apply the text here.
3. Identify who you will practice being supportive with. Instead of just using this person’s name, include a description, e.g., "My 42-year-old friend, Alice, who was recently divorced." Avoid last names.
4. Explain the difference between an observation and an inference. List 10 descriptive observations you have made about this person and the corresponding inferences that you have made to come to the conclusion that this person has a low self-esteem. For example, "I have observed that she looks down while talking to strangers, from this I infer that she sees herself as less worthy than them." Make sure to use "I" language and to identify what is the observation and what is the inference.
5. Make a plan support this person -- careful not to, however, become ultra positive and then after a week desert this person - especially if this is a child:
6. Report now on the items above as listed.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #5: Improving Your Self Image
Objective: To investigate your early messages of self.
Procedure:
1. Self Reflection: answer these questions and reflect upon how you have received messages of who you are (include your responses in your report):
2. Feedback: Now that you have had an opportunity to reflect upon the influences upon your "self," it is time to ask for feedback. As you do ask for feedback, do remember that each person has their own unique viewpoint, and this even changes and evolves over time. As you decide who to gain feedback from, also remember that you should be very selective in this process. Sometimes we get too honest of a response (I once asked my grandmother about playing favorites, and she said, "Well, you’re right I never did favor you, I have always liked your sister and cousin better." Ouch!).
a. Ask a sibling, if you have one, to answer the questions posed to you above. Ask him or her to describe your family’s attachment style, the direct definitions he or she received, his or her identity scripts and the types of reflected appraisals he or she experienced.
b. Or, ask the same questions as listed above to a cousin.
c. Or, ask your parents to describe how they thought they communicated attachment, definitions, appraisal and identity scripts.
d. Receive feedback another way of your choice. Explain what you did.
3. Process: Report what happened in your seeking feedback from others. Do they see you and your family as you do? Next report your reaction to the feedback. What did you learn from this activity?
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #6: Improving Your Self-Esteem
Objective: To improve your sense of self by practicing positive self-talk.
Procedure:
1. Describe the self-fulfilling prophecy. Explain how it can work to a negative result and how it can work to your advantage. How have you experienced the self-fulfilling prophecy in your life?
2. Complete this Self-esteem Scale:
The Rosenburg Self-esteem Scale
Directions: For each of the following items, please choose one of the following
1 = Strongly agree 2 = Agree 3 = Disagree 4 = Strongly disagree
____ 1. On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.
____ 2. At times I think I am no good at all.
____ 3. I feel that I have a number of good qualities.
____ 4. I am able to do things as well as most people.
____ 5. I feel I do not have much to be proud of.
____ 6. I certainly feel useless at times.
____ 7. I feel that I'm a person of worth.
____ 8. I wish I could have more respect for myself.
____ 9. All in all, I am inclined to think that I am a failure.
____10. I take a positive attitude toward myself.
3. Which areas above seem to give you the most difficulty? What other areas in your life give you troubles with your self-esteem? Why do you think that this is so? What downers/vultures have helped you to form this notion and/or what uppers have helped you to question it?
4. Rewrite five of the statements above into a "self-affirming" statements - or write other statements more appropriate to your situation. Post the statements in your living space where you will see them each day for a week or more. Make sure to place one on the mirror in your bathroom or bedroom. You might decide to post one on a folder, your visor in your car, etc. if you are a "mobile" person. Each morning, read the message to yourself. As you see this and the other statements, try to consciously decide to make that statement to yourself and to try to believe it "just for today." Keep a journal for the week (what did you do today and how did you feel -- not part of the 5-page essay but can use it for helping you find examples to include in your paper). Attach the journal to your paper.
5. Report upon what happened and the responses to the questions above. Carefully explain how you restated the negative messages, where you posted them and your feelings about doing this. Be honest. Why or why not did it make a difference? Apply the notions of self-fulfilling prophecy to your response.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #7: Rules Theory
Objective: To experiment with the use of "rules" to intentionally try to make an impersonal interaction more interpersonal. You will change a rule your family or living partners, work partners, friends, etc. use for one week. You will need to find a group/person to practice this with.
Procedure:
1. How is communication "rule governed?" Rules tend to be stated as such: If ______, then ________. I grew up with: If you want to play, then you need to finish your work first. List 5 rules you remember growing up with.
2. Now list 5 you use today in your current living situation. For example, one student wrote: Although I want to say we always have a routine at dinner, often the rule is: "If you are having dinner with our family and then you can expect to also watch t.v. "
3. Think of a situation that you would like to change in your living environment. It may be from a rule listed above in question 2 or another situation where you would like to have a new rule adopted. As listed in the objective section, you will try to intentionally make a somewhat impersonal interaction pattern more interpersonal. You will follow a new rule for one week. (Obviously this choice is designed for a person living with roommates or family -- feel free to adapt this to meet your needs if you want to use a work situation). Decide on what you will do and when it will happen. This decision should be made in cooperation with the others living with you. Together define the context in which this rule will be changed, that is, who will be involved, where this space is and when the rule will be enforced.
4. What is your plan to change this situation? What was the new "rule?" Report upon your strategy. Be specific: what did you want to happen and why. How did you decide this? How will it be enforced?
5. As you practice this new rule during the week, keep a journal to record the evolution of this rule. You can keep it a brief; a paragraph a day is fine (need not type it). Attach this to your final report.
6. What is your conclusion? What did you learn from this experiment? As you respond to the questions listed above, make sure that you have described what happened, how the others did or did not follow the rule and how the communication differed as a result (or not).
Choice
# 8 -- Receiving Feedback.
Objective and Procedure: Taking the time to request feedback is difficult for many of us. This experiment asks that you do just that from FIVE people in your life. Ask them to "fill in the blanks" to the questions listed below about YOU (I can give you more copies of this sheet or you can make more yourself). That’s right they will answer the questions as a response to how they see you (careful not to switch it around). I will warn you, make sure you are ready for honest feedback. You may not necessarily get the responses you think you will.
Feedback Sheet:
1. You deserve to be proud of your ability to _________, to _____________ and to ______________.
2. I wish you would tell me more about ________________________ and ______________________.
3. I wish you would talk less about _____________________________________________________.
4. I’m uncomfortable or embarrassed when you _________________and when you ______________.
5. When I’m talking about something I’m interested in or concerned about, I don’t like it when you _____________or ____________. I appreciate it when you _______________ or _________________.
6. Your friends are lucky because you are usually ___________, ___________ and ______________.
7. Your friends have to tolerate your tendency to __________, _________, ________ or __________.
8. I appreciate it so much when you _______________,__________________, or ________________.
9. The most positive change I’ve seen in you lately: ______________________.
10. Three difficult situations that I think you handled well are:
1.
2.
3.
11. In my opinion, you do (did) not handle your situation with ______________ well.
_____________________________________________________________________
Reporting and Processing:
1. Report the results of how each of the five people "filled in the blanks."
It is fine to just include the completed sheets.
2. Now report your personal "results."
Choice #9: Giving Feedback
Objective: To begin to practice giving honest and appropriate feedback.
Procedure:
1. What should you consider when deciding to give honest feedback to another person? What should you consider when you disclose emotions? What is owned, or "I," language and why should it be used? What is self-disclosure? Why do some people seem to be highly self-disclosing when sharing feelings and others seem to never express their emotions? Use the text to support your responses.
2. List five people who you would like to give honest feedback to. Consider and report:
3. CAREFULLY decide whether or not to disclose your feelings statement to each person. Consider and report the worst case scenario and the best case scenario of the outcome of each situation. Report whether or not you disclosed these statements. Explain why you decided to or not to tell this person how you feel. If you did disclose this feeling, what was the other person’s response? If you did not disclose this feeling, what outcome may happen? Are feelings hard for you to express? Why or why not? Look into the chapter on emotions for more information on communicating emotions.
Choice # 10-- Using SOFTENS
Objective: To practice the SOFTENS technique. SOFTENS stands for using Smile, Open Posture, Facial Expressions, Touch, Eye Contact, Nods (head) and Space. This acronym reminds us that our nonverbal communication can help soften the communication situation in a favorable way.
Procedure:
1. Decide which of the SOFTENS behaviors you would like to practice. You may focus on one behavior or more. You will practice this for at least one week.
2. Remind yourself daily to practice this nonverbal behavior.
3. Keep a log of the results. Each day in your journal describe how you intentionally used this behavior and include one interesting reaction you received from others. If you had no interesting reaction, well then report what reaction you did receive! This is not a part of your essay's 4-5 pages but should be attached.
4. Report the results and summarize the reactions of others as well as your reactions. How does your behavior affect others’ behaviors?
5. How does nonverbal communication impact the verbal message? How can it contradict your verbal message? Support or reinforce it? How can it replace it? (look to the text here). Give examples from your experiment to support your response.
Choice # 11: Expressing Thanks and Gratitude
Objective: To express your thankfulness to another person for whom you are
grateful.
Sample Report
Procedure: You will write an individualized letter of gratitude.
**Some people have decided to write to folks who are deceased, that would be just fine also.
Choice # 12: Gratitude List
Objective: to find positive, affirming moments in each day.
Procedure:
1. For the next week, keep a "gratitude list." At the end of each day, list 10 things that you are grateful for. When you are done writing this list, identify and write five feelings that you felt during the day and five feelings you feel now that you are writing this list. (Feel free to use your feelings list). Write this in a journal. Attach the journal to your report.
2. What is your general outlook on life? Do you tend to look at the glass half empty or half full? Why do you think that you feel this way? Have you felt differently in different times in your life? How does "perception" play a role here? Is it easy for you to identify your emotional state? Why do you say this?
3. How does your early family messages influence how your outlook? How have your attachment style, the identity scripts of your family and the direct definitions given to you contributed to this outlook? Be descriptive in your explanation (the materials from chapters 1-3 can be used here).
4. What did you learn by completing this assignment? Does (as the saying goes) adopting an "Attitude of Gratitude" make a difference? To what degree are we responsible for our own emotional state? To what degree do you believe that your emotional response is a choice/not a choice? Explain.
Choice #13: Assertiveness:
Objective: To practice assertiveness skills.
Procedure:
1. What is the difference between being passive, aggressive and assertive?
2. When are you most likely to be passive, aggressive and assertive? Describe how you act both verbally and noverbally when your are passive, aggressive and assertive.
3. What behaviors can you practice to help you assert yourself? List 5 nonverbal behaviors yfou will practice this week and 5 goals for your verbal communication you will try to use. During this week, I want you to practice using this assertiveness model below at least 5 times. (keep a journal and attach it to your essay - report what happened each day and how you felt about the response).
Assertiveness Model...state to the person you want to assert yourself with:
4. After practicing asserting yourself during the week, report on the results. Be creative in your explanation of assertiveness by applying the materials from class and Wood in your explanation of the following questions:
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #14: Random Acts of Kindness:
Objective: To practice a positive attitude.
Procedure:
1. For 1-2 weeks, conduct a "random act of kindness" each day. And, as the old saying goes, it doesn’t count if someone finds you out! Well, in any case, try not to be "found out."
2. Keep a journal and attach it to your essay. Each day, write in your journal what you did, how you felt doing it, and what result came from it.
3. At the end of the week, report on what you learned in doing this experiment. Do random acts of kindness make a difference? Would you continue doing this?
4. Describe the tie between behavior and thought. Can a changed behavior change an attitude? Include a DETAILED discussion on the three steps of perception here with examples of your perceptions this week. Apply the standpoint theory from your text in your response.
Choice #15: Pre-Approved "Doing Your Own Thing"
Objective: To allow for self-directed study of interpersonal communication skills.
Procedure: you’ve read many choices thus far, now you design what you want to practice for this choice (you can even include a video project here). Next, give me a paper copy of your idea (or email me: Lori.Halverson@Roch.Edu). Then we will work out the details. This must be pre-approved or else it will be a zero.
Choice #16: Active Listening...
Purpose: Just for fun...examine your listening ability!
Directions: Part I may be handwritten on the worksheet provided below. Part II will be typed.
Part I: Intentionally listen in 4 different listening situations. Make a plan, set a goal, work your strategy, and then take notes!
1. Pick a listening situation where you are listening for pleasure.
I want to listen to enjoy _________________ (situation) so that _______________________ (why)
by practicing these specific behaviors. _________________, ___________________,
___________________, ______________________, And _____________________.
2. Pick a listening situation where you are listening for information. This should be a public speaker (even a teacher would be fine!).
I want to listen to understand _________________ (what is the situation/speaker) so that
_______________________
(why) by practicing these specific behaviors. ______________,
________________, _________________, ___________________, And _________________.
3. Pick a listening situation where you are listening to evaluate.
I want to listen to evaluate _________________ (what is the situation/speaker) so that
_______________________
(why) by practicing these specific behaviors. ______________,
________________, _________________, ___________________, And _________________.
4. Pick a listening situation where you are listening to support another.
I want to listen to understand _________________ (what is the situation/speaker) so that
_______________________
(why) by practicing these specific behaviors. ______________,
________________, _________________, ___________________, And _________________.
Part II:
1. What is the difference between listening and merely hearing?
2. What is a listening obstacle/barrier? Which obstacles/barriers are hardest for you to overcome?
3. How did your listening strategies change in each of the goal orientations listed above? Which type of listening are you best at?
4. What do you need to improve upon concerning your listening? Use examples from the worksheet to demonstrate your response.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Choice #17: Decisions, Decisions....
Purpose: to practice effective decision-making skills.
Directions: Apply "Dewey's Reflective Thinking Model" to a decision you need to make. Follow the model below.
1. Choose a "problem" you need to solve. Perhaps this is more of a "decision" you need to make. You can even use it to make a family or work decision with another person or with a group of people. Complete the worksheet below and hand it in with your submission.
Use this as a worksheet, filling it out completely. Hand it in with your typed comments from #2 and #3 (below).
|
Absolute Criteria |
Desired Criteria |
|
|
|
After completing the worksheet, continue to address these questions:
2. How do you normally make decisions? Are you prone to procrastination? Explain how you would like to make decisions differently.
3. Use the model to work out a solution. Complete the worksheet - you will probably need other paper to do so, you need not type this part of the assignment. This process can be very time consuming also.
4. Now, make your decision and then report on how well the decision making process went. List each step from the model and summarize how you used the step. Comment on the usefulness of this model. This model is generally used in small group decision-making and is quite popular in problem solving situations. Does it translate well to interpersonal decisions? If you worked with another person on a decision you needed to make, also discuss how well that went.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 18: What's Your Type?
Purpose: to learn more about yourself.
Directions:
follow the items below.
1. Make an appointment with the counseling department to take 3 different personality, career or other "inventories/tests." I would suggest the Myers Brigg's inventory and items from their career choice packets. I would also suggest taking a career interest survey. I will forewarn you sometimes you will need to pay for the particular test, but the cost is generally minimal and it would cost MUCH more to take it elsewhere. Here is another possible inventory you might also pick, sent our way from my old teaching assistant, Heather Dawson: http://www.keirsey.com/
2. Make a follow-up interview with one of the RCTC counselors to discuss the results of your tests. Hint: perhaps schedule a second meeting as you pick up the packets since this time of year it is very hard to schedule a time with a counselor.
3. Now comment upon:
· What 3 tests did you take? Describe each briefly and discuss their purposes.
· Overall, summarize the results of these tests. What did you learn? Did the results seem valid? Did you see reflections of yourself? What did you see "new," if anything, about yourself.
· Ask a "particular other" if the results resemble you. Discuss this too.
· Have you taken such inventories before, say in high school? How were these results different or similar?
· The Myers-Briggs Type Preferences are listed below. Which do you think best describes you (if you commented above on taking this test, feel free to answer this just once!).
· How do you think that the "results" from these tests can help you in understanding how you operate in an interpersonal relationship?
MYERS-BRIGGS® TYPE PREFERENCES
|
Extrovert. Outgoing; speaks then thinks,
sociable; likes groups |
Introvert. Private; thinks then speaks, reflective; prefers to work alone |
|
Sensor. Focuses on details; factual, practical,
realistic; likes facts |
Intuitive. Focuses on the big picture; theoretical, gets bored with facts/details |
|
Thinker. Task-oriented, objective, firm,
analytical, detached |
Feeler. People-oriented, subjective, humane, appreciative, involved |
|
Judger.
Well-organized,
structured, in control, definite; likes deadlines |
Perceiver. Flexible, goes- with-the-flow; dislikes deadlines; spontaneous |
Option 19: Relational Dialectics
Purpose: to demonstrate key terms related to communication climates.
Directions: You can create a video instead of writing a paper submission! Make sure to follow the steps below carefully. Also, make sure that you do state aloud what you are doing and why, as indicated. When they are healthy examples, make sure to use healthy language choices (e.g., I-language, mindfulness, dual perspective, etc.). You will need to state your text citations aloud... Also, since this is a "role-play" you will need a partner to do this with. If you choose a member of my class, you both can receive credit for this. However, if you do decide to videotape with another classmate, make sure to use "2X" the requirements below...if you have 3 folks working together, use "3X" the requirements.
1. Read chapter 8.
2. Relational Dialectics Role-play
Remember
to cite the text 5 times during your role-play.
If you do this with a partner, remember to do so "X" the number of
people or 2 X 5 = 10 citations for two people submitting
an essay.
Option 20: Confirming and Disconfirming Messages
Purpose: to demonstrate key terms related to communication climates.
Directions: You can create a video instead of writing a paper submission! Make sure to follow the steps below carefully. Also, make sure that you do state aloud what you are doing and why, as indicated. You will need to state your text citations aloud... Also, since this is a "role-play" you will need a partner to do this with. If you choose a member of my class, you both can receive credit for this. However, if you do decide to videotape with another classmate, make sure to use 10 text citations then.
1. Read the text's section on communication climates to familiarize yourself with confirming and disconfirming messages.
2. Begin the role-plays by:
3. Now comment upon how you have experienced these messages in your own life/lives. What can we do to prevent sliding into the negative communication patterns you role-played?
Remember to cite the text 5 times in the role play.
If you do this with a partner, remember to do so "X" the number of people or 2 X 5 = 10 citations for two people submitting an essay.
Option 21: Communication Climates
Purpose: to demonstrate key terms related to communication climates.
Directions: As above, you can create a video instead of writing a paper submission! Make sure to follow the steps below carefully. Also, make sure that you do state aloud what you are doing and why, as indicated. You will need to state your text citations aloud... Also, since this is a "role-play" you will need a partner to do this with. If you choose a member of my class (either section of Interpersonal Communication), you both can receive credit for this. If you do decide to videotape with another classmate, make sure to use 10 text citations then.
1. Read the text's segment on Gibb's communication climates.
2. Now explain and role-play each communication classification, as outlined below. In the "defensive" choices, remember that this is unhealthy communication and you can use unqualified, non-owned language, etc. The "supportive" choices are healthy communication choices SO remember to use OWNED language in these healthy versions!
3. Finally, talking to the camera, reflect over the different role-plays you did. Tell me which these communication patterns do you tend to follow in your communication? What do you hope to avoid in the future and what do you hope to change about how you communicate in these situations? If each of you are my students, both need to comment here.
Remember
to cite the text 5 times!
If you do this with a partner, remember to do so "X" the number of
people or 2 X 5 = 10 citations for two people submitting an essay.
Option 22: The Written Version of the Videotaped Items Above
Directions: Follow the format and answer the questions on paper listed from options 19 - 21 and also options 29 and 30 below. Instead of role-plays, write examples from your own life or hypothetical ones to demonstrate the theories.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 23: And How Do the Stars Portray the Relationship Model
in Relationships?
Directions:
1. Pick a movie to analyze. Feel free to do this with a friend in
class (if you do this with a partner, remember to do so "X" the number
of people! ).
Pre-approve this movie with me so that I can watch it
first. If you want to analyze a television show, you will need
to videotape an episode and give it to me with your submission. Fun suggestions
include any Star Trek episode, Evening Star, Patches, Rudy,Willow, Spiderman,
Knotting Hill, Pretty Woman, Fried Green Tomatoes, Ya Ya Sisterhood, Lord of
the Rings, Harry Potter even...gosh, the list is endless. Hey, you could even
look at your favorite novels!
2. First give me an overview of the plot (BRIEFLY!). Focus the discussion on one friendship in this movie/show.
3. Now analyze this friendship.
· Use the relationship development model described in chapter 10 to outline this relationship (see model 10.1 on page 351). List each stage define it and then and give an example of how the relationship you assessed in the movie/show did or did not follow each step in this model.
·
Additionally,
report on: how does this dyad follow the rules of friendship listed in
this chapter (see pages 354-355)? In this discussion,
comment upon:
1. their ability to engage in dual perspective
2. did they communicate honestly; did they grow from differences
3. did they sweat the small stuff?
4. Now make your evaluation! How realistic was this portrayal of a friendship?
5. Finally, how does this friendship compare to your primary friendships?
Remember
to cite the text 5 times !
If you do this with a partner, remember to do so "X" the number of
people!
Option 24: Analyze Your Friendships
Directions:
1. Pick one friendship of yours that is "healthy" and one that is "not healthy."
2. Now analyze each friendship following these questions:
· Use the relationship development model described in chapter 10 to outline -- LIST EACH STAGE AND DISCUSS EACH (see page 351)-- for each relationship. List each stage, define it briefly, and give an example of how each relationship did or did not follow each step in this model.
· Additionally, report on: how do you two follow the rules of friendship listed in this chapter, what additional rules do you follow, what rules do you wish you would follow; comment upon your ability to: "engage in dual perspective;" "communicate honestly;" "grow from differences;" and not "sweat the small stuff."
3. Now compare and contrast the two different relationships.
4. Comment upon what you learned about your relationships by analyzing them this way. Be complete in your response.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 25: Discussing your Friendship Together
1. Discuss the materials from chapter 10 with a friend (feel free to do this with a friend in class if you have a close friend taking the class and then co-author this -- If you do this with a partner from class though, remember to do so "X" the number of people.).
2. Each of you should take the "quiz" on page 342 individually, then compare the results. In your report comment upon: "How did your responses differ and how were they similar?" and "What did you learn from this?"
3. Each of you now should do the exercise on page 340 and then compare and report the results. Discuss together: "Do you show closeness through dialogue or through doing? How are you similar in showing closeness, how are you different?" In your report comment upon how your responses are similar or different and how this discussion went.
4. Discuss together: "How have you followed the steps of the developmental course of friendship as listed on pages 350+?" Comment on how you see your relationship through this model. Do you and your friend agree or disagree on how you have progressed in this relationship? Report on this.
5. Together look to the "rules" for improving your relationship on page 355 and then on page 363+. Report upon the reactions you and your friend have to these rules. List the rules you and your friend see as relevant to your relationship.
6. Finally, comment in your report what you learned about this relationship from this activity.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 26: Romantic Relationships!
Purpose: To examine your personal relationships...
Directions: Follow the steps below
1. Using the model of the "Developmental Stages in Romantic Relationships" (figure 11.3 - page 381) outline two romantic relationships that you have had: one that was positive/healthy and one that was less positive/unhealthy. List each stage and then comment briefly upon how you did or did not experience this stage for each relationship.
2. Comment upon whether or not you agree with Wood's "Triangle of Love." Describe her theory. How did each of the relationships you outlined from question 1 balance this triangle, was it well balanced or not?
3. Finally, personally reflect on the materials discussed above and in this chapter. Why was one healthy and one not healthy?
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option
27: Triangle of Love
Directions:
1. Pick a healthy romantic relationship you have been in and on that has not been healthy. Comment upon whether or not you agree with Wood's "Triangle of Love." Describe her theory. How did each of the relationships balance this triangle?
3. Look to the colors of love.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 28: Analyzing Love in
the Movies!
Sample Paper 1
Purpose: To apply theory to the "generalized other's" portrayal of love
Directions: answer the following...
1. Pick a movie to analyze. Again, you can do this with another classmate -- if you do, remember to cite the text six times, not three. Pre-approve this movie with me so that I can watch it first. If you want to analyze a television show, you will need to videotape an episode and give it to me with your submission. Fun suggestions include any Star Trek episode, Evening Star, Patches, Rudy, Knotting Hill, Pretty Woman, Fried Green Tomatoes, Save the Last Dance, Chocolat', Mansfiled Park, Story of Us, gosh, the list is endless. Hey, you could even look at your favorite novels!
2. First give me an overview of the plot (BRIEFLY!), focusing upon one romantic relationship in this movie/show.
3. Now analyze this relationship.
4. How does this relationship compare to your personal relationships?
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 29: STOP DOING THAT....LISTEN
TO ME~
1. Demonstrate the poor listening behaviors Wood discusses in chapter 6 (pseudolistening, monopolizing, etc.).
2. Show us examples of listening barriers and then how you can avoid them.
Remember to cite the text 5 times in each paper!
Option 30+ -- Lights Camera Action: Role-play Good and Bad Versions of
Listening!
1. What is a paraphrase? What are the three parts of a paraphrase that we discussed in class and why are they important? (owned language, the restatement of the message itself and a perception check at the end).
2. Show me how! Demonstrate unhealthy listening and then the healthy listening through role-plays.
3. Now explain how you use and do no use these skills in your own life!
Remember to cite the text 5 times!
Choice 31: Perception Changes
Overview: Think of a time in your life when your perception was greatly altered. It might have been due to a traumatic situation such as a death of someone close to you, a "close call" such as an accident that was averted, perhaps something "almost" happened you were able to walk away from without it happening to you, or maybe you changed something about your life such as moving, quitting smoking, or losing weight. It can also be an event that was very positive such as getting married, having a child etc. This project will help you to understand how perception is a process by more thoroughly analyzing that situation.
1. Describe your perception before this "event" occurred. Be specific. How did you select, organize (use prototypes, stereotypes, scripts, and personal constructs), and interpret (did you see it as an internal or external area, did you see it as stable or unstable, did you think it was your personal responsibility or not of your personal responsibility) this area of your life before?
2. What happened? Describe this event in two ways: what verbally happened and what happened nonverbally? Be specific.
3. How and why did your perception change? Be specific. How do you now select, organize (use prototypes, stereotypes, scripts, and personal constructs), and interpret (do you now see it as an internal or external area, as stable or unstable, and your personal responsibility or not of your personal responsibility) this area of your life since this event happened? What changes have you seen in how YOU use verbal and nonverbal communication?
Remember to cite the
text 5 times!
Choice #32: How Hollywood Creates "Self"
Goal: To apply the concepts of Chapter 2 to a movie's main character.
1) Approve the movie with Lori. Watch the movie.
2) Describe briefly the plot of the movie (1 paragraph or less).
3) Vividly and concretely describe the main c