Chapter 8 Notes: Communication Climates

4 Elements of Satisfying Personal Relationships

[Investment

[Commitment

[Trust

[Comfort with relational dialectics

Relational Dialectics

` Autonomy/ Connection:
I want to be close/I need my own space

` Novelty/ Predictability:
I like the familiar rhythms/We need to do something new & different

` Openness/ Closedness:
I like sharing with you/Don’t want to share this with you

Continuum of Interpersonal Climates

zConfirming Climate

recognition (hello)

acknowledgment (eye-contact, nod, yes, etc.)

endorsement (accepting others’ feelings as valid and important

zMixed Climate/Cycling Climate

zDisconfirming Climate

– don’t acknowledge others’ existence

– don’t speak to another when
you enter a room

Communication and Climate

• Defensive

– evaluation

– certainty

– strategy

– control

– neutrality

– superiority

• Supportive

– description

– provisionalism

– spontaneity

– problem orientation

– empathy

– equality

Evaluation vs. Description

• Evaluation

– You judge the situation rather than describe it.

– “This is wrong, you did…”

• Description

– You describe what is going on rather than evaluate…

– I have noticed that ...

Control vs. Problem Orientation

• Control

– Focus is on the outcome, on the power to “fix” or “have you way” or “finish this.”

• Problem Orientation

– Focus is upon the issue at hand, not the solution…not the winning or losing.

Strategy vs. Spontaneity

• Strategy

– You plan to get things done a certain way. You strategize to win, to solve, to facilitate a certain result.

• Spontaneity

– You are able to take the situation as it unfolds, in a more open way.

Neutrality vs. Empathy

• Neutrality

– You do not get involved. You tend to take the attitude of “whatever” rather than emotionally and physically involve yourself.

– Tends to be an unhealthy “detachment.”

• Empathy

– You do get involved in the situation. You try to feel the other person’s feelings, see the other person’s vision.

– Healthy “detachment.” You do not go into the pit with them, yet still care.

Superiority vs. Equality

• Superiority

– I am more important than you or the relationship.

– Power positions are used to accomplish tasks or other desired interpersonal outcomes.

• Equality

– Each person is worthy and decisions are made based upon this regardless of status, power or other external positions.

Certainty vs. Provisionalism

• Certainty

– Things are the way they are, that’s it!

– Things work on one way.

• Provisionalism

– Tends to promote a “let’s see what happens” attitude.

– Open to many different ways for things to “work out”

6 Guidelines for Healthy Climates

• actively shape climates

• accept & confirm others

• affirm & assert yourself

• appropriate self-disclosure

• respect diversity

• respond to criticism
constructively

The Johari Window -- see text!